Week Two Slip-Up
Week two I was feeling great. I’d gotten back into the gym, was busy at work and felt really good about the changes I could feel happening within me. Namely, being able to feel good about purchasing a new car, believing in myself in started this blog and managing my moods and my money in a healthy way I’d never done before. Then the weekend hit. Saturday I met up with some friends for an Oktoberfest event. I had zero intention of drinking and even ordered a CBD water they had on the menu. After having been there for a while, though, that stronghold I had on not drinking crashed and burned. I ordered a half-glass of wine…and then a few more. Ultimately, I only had two glasses collectively, and told myself I’d just tack on a day to the end of Sober October and call it good. But then I stopped on the way home and got a bottle of wine…cue the bangin’ headache the next morning and then a little hair of the dog. I went to brunch, had a few drinks and was still feeling okay (aka not beating myself up for taking a cheat weekend). Having had drinks both Saturday and Sunday, I really felt it come Monday. My face was puffy, I was exhausted even though I went to bed at 8pm Sunday and I wanted nothing more than to take the day off so I could lay around and pull it together.
I wasn’t upset about the little Sunday treat of mimosas at brunch because I also got to spend some time with a good girlfriend that I rarely get to see because of her nursing and school schedule. She also happens to be my landlord, so we had the chance to finally hammer out some details about the lease and the needed repairs/maintenance to the place. That was a huge relief for me, because the not knowing was a humming ball of anxiety just sitting in the pit of my stomach. Now that we’d gotten that part out of the way, we were able to just enjoy the beautiful day and each other’s company. After I dropped her off at home, though, I had the urge to go watch the Sunday night game somewhere (not that I gave a crap, I just think I wasn’t ready to go home). All that to say, while it was fun, I still paid for the weekend in more ways than one.
I reflected on whether to just add that time to the end of the month, but ultimately decided to extend it until my coworker’s wedding in mid-November. I am still 10000% on board with changing my frame of mind to becoming an occasional drinker, or non-drinker, rather than a regular binge drinker. I keep going back and forth about going full sober or just being sober-ish, which I’m sure is noticeable in these posts. I think the takeaway is that I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m trying my best and loving the way I feel without it more than I love the way it used to make me feel (escapism, anyone?). Anyway, I’m hoping week three continues to fuel the good feels and here’s to no more slip-ups!
